14 must-read books for skin pickers and hair pullers
If you struggle with trichotillomania, dermatillomania or other Body focused Repetitive Behaviors, these 14 books are an absolute must-read for you.
Contrary to what you might expect, only two of them mention skin picking and hair pulling directly. The remaining 12 are all about concepts such as shame, trauma, self love, forgiveness, intergenerational patterns, epigenetics, spirituality, purpose, various healing modalities, and - of course- breaking old habits and forming new ones.
Over the last few years I’ve averaged a book a week, reading everything that I could get my hands on. Some were more impactful than others. These 14 have without a doubt contributed to my healing and overcoming trich and derm. I hope they help you, too.
In no particular order, here are top 14 must read books for skin pickers and hair pullers:
The Gifts of Imperfection, brenÈ Brown
For over a decade, Brené Brown has found a special place in our hearts. She is both a social scientist and a kitchen-table friend whom you can always count on to tell the truth, make you laugh, and, on occasion, cry with you. And what’s now become a movement all started with The Gifts of Imperfection, which has sold more than two million copies in thirty-five different languages across the globe.
What transforms this book from words on a page to effective daily practices are the ten guideposts to wholehearted living. The guideposts not only help us understand the practices that will allow us to change our lives, they also walk us through the unattainable and sabotaging expectations that get in the way.
Brené writes, “This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, ‘My story matters because I matter.’ Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”
2. The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors.
In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity.
Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.
3. Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Joe Dispenza
Discover how to reprogram your biology and thinking, and break the habit of being yourself so you can truly change your mind and life. Best-selling author, international speaker, chiropractor, and renowned researcher of epigenetics, quantum physics, and neuroscience, Dr. Joe Dispenza shares that you are not doomed by your genes and hardwired to be a certain way for the rest of your life. New science is emerging that empowers all human beings to create the reality they choose.
In Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Joe Dispenza combines the fields of quantum physics, neuroscience, brain chemistry, biology, and genetics to show you what is truly possible and how to recondition the body and create better health.
Not only will you be given the necessary knowledge to change your energy and any aspect of yourself, but you will be taught the step-by-step tools to apply what you learn in order to make measurable changes in any area of your life.
4. How to Change Your Mind, Michael Pollan
When Michael Pollan set out to research how LSD and psilocybin (the active ingredient in magic mushrooms) are being used to provide relief to people suffering from difficult-to-treat conditions such as depression, addiction and anxiety, he did not intend to write what is undoubtedly his most personal book. But upon discovering how these remarkable substances are improving the lives not only of the mentally ill but also of healthy people coming to grips with the challenges of everyday life, he decided to explore the landscape of the mind in the first person as well as the third.
Thus began a singular adventure into various altered states of consciousness, along with a dive deep into both the latest brain science and the thriving underground community of psychedelic therapists. Pollan sifts the historical record to separate the truth about these mysterious drugs from the myths that have surrounded them since the 1960s.
A unique and elegant blend of science, memoir, travel writing, history, and medicine, How to Change Your Mind is a triumph of participatory journalism. By turns dazzling and edifying, it is the gripping account of a journey to an exciting and unexpected new frontier in our understanding of the mind, the self, and our place in the world.
5. How to do the work, Nicole LePera
As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she’d learned with others—and soon “The Holistic Psychologist” was born.
Now, Dr. LePera is ready to share her much-requested protocol with the world. In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for SelfHealing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell.
In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.
6. Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Habits, Wayne Dyer
Within the pages of this transformational book, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer reveals how to change the self-defeating thinking patterns that have prevented you from living at the highest levels of success, happiness, and health. Even though you may know what to think, actually changing those thinking habits that have been with you since childhood might be somewhat challenging.
If I changed, it would create family dramas . . . I’m too old or too young . . . I’m far too busy and tired . . . I can’t afford the things I truly want . . . It would be very difficult for me to do things differently . . . and I’ve always been this way . . . may all seem to be true, but they’re in fact just excuses. So the business of modifying habituated thinking patterns really comes down to tossing out the same tired old excuses and examining your beliefs in a new and truthful light.
In this groundbreaking work, Wayne presents a compendium of conscious and subconscious crutches employed by virtually everyone, along with ways to cast them aside once and for all. You’ll learn to apply specific questions to any excuse, and then proceed through the steps of a new paradigm. The old, habituated ways of thinking will melt away as you experience the absurdity of hanging on to them.
You’ll ultimately realize that there are no excuses worth defending, ever, even if they’ve always been part of your life—and the joy of releasing them will resonate throughout your very being. When you eliminate the need to explain your shortcomings or failures, you’ll awaken to the life of your dreams. Excuses . . . Begone!
7. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, James Clear
No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving - every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results.
If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Clear draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible.
Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits - whether you are a team looking to win a championship, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.
8. Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace, Gabby Bernstein
In Happy Days, #1 New York Times best-selling author Gabrielle Bernstein charts a clear path to releasing inner child wounds, unlearning fear, and remembering love so you can enjoy inner peace every day. What if you could wake up every day without anxiety? View your past with purpose, not regret? Live happy, peaceful, and free from fear? You can be the happiest person you know—and Gabrielle Bernstein will show you how.
Gabby has long been loved as a spiritual teacher speaking to tens of thousands in sold-out venues throughout the world, and catalyst for profound inner change. Happy Days presents her most powerful teaching yet: a plan for transforming the pain of your past traumas, whatever that may be, into newfound strength and freedom.
In this empowering book for releasing trauma, you’ll learn:
Why most people feel frozen in mental health patterns that make them unhappy—and what to do about it
9 transformational, yet untapped, techniques for peace and genuine happiness—from “reparenting” yourself to bodywork practices that work for freeing the stuck energy of past unprocessed trauma from your body
The mindset shift that can do more for you than decades of personal work
How to speak the unspeakable and go into the places that scare you—and come away with peace of mind and freer than ever before!
9. The End of Mental Illness, Daniel Amen
New hope for those suffering from conditions like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, addictions, PTSD, BFRB, ADHD and more. Though incidence of these conditions is skyrocketing, for the past four decades standard treatment hasn’t much changed, and success rates in treating them have barely improved, either. Meanwhile, the stigma of the “mental illness” label―damaging and devastating on its own―can often prevent sufferers from getting the help they need.
Brain specialist and bestselling author Dr. Daniel Amen is on the forefront of a new movement within medicine and related disciplines that aims to change all that. In The End of Mental Illness, Dr. Amen draws on the latest findings of neuroscience to challenge an outdated psychiatric paradigm and help readers take control and improve the health of their own brain, minimizing or reversing conditions that may be preventing them from living a full and emotionally healthy life.
The End of Mental Illness will help you discover:
Why labeling someone as having a “mental illness” is not only inaccurate but harmful
Why standard treatment may not have helped you or a loved one―and why diagnosing and treating you based on your symptoms alone so often misses the true cause of those symptoms and results in poor outcomes
At least 100 simple things you can do yourself to heal your brain and prevent or reverse the problems that are making you feel sad, mad, or bad
How to identify your “brain type” and what you can do to optimize your particular type
Where to find the kind of health provider who understands and uses the new paradigm of brain health
10. Skin Picking: The Freedom to Finally Stop, Annette Pasternak
Free yourself from the destructive cycle of compulsive skin picking. Annette Pasternak, Ph.D., the Stop Skin Picking Coach, teaches you everything you need to know about why you pick your skin and how to break free of this frequently devastating behavior. Step-by-step she leads you through:
Exercises to help you to break the habit of the behavior.
Techniques to reduce stress and anxiety naturally, thus reducing the body’s need to pick.
How to release negative thoughts and emotions holding you back.
Lifestyle and diet changes to restore physiological balance, including which foods to avoid, which to eat more of, and natural supplements to help you stop.
How to stay motivated, inspired and positive.
This comprehensive guide is a lifesaver for those suffering from skin picking, and is also invaluable for health professionals interested in learning how to help their patients who pick.
11. Overcoming Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors: A Comprehensive Behavioral Treatment for Hair Pulling and Skin Picking
A comprehensive treatment plan grounded in evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you overcome body-focused repetitive behaviors for good!
If you have body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRB) such as hair pulling (trichotillomania) or skin picking (dermatillomania), you may feel embarrassed about seeking help. But there are proven-effective strategies you can use to overcome these behaviors and improve your overall quality of life—this book will show you how.
In this evidence-based resource, three renowned experts and clinicians offer powerful CBT skills to help you move past BFRB. You’ll learn why you engage in these behaviors, and how to identify your own sensory “triggers”—places, things, or experiences that cause your behavior to become worse. Finally, you’ll learn strategies to use when faced with these triggers, and develop your own customized “plan of action” for moving beyond BFRB for good.
With time, practice, and solid skills for managing stress, anxiety, urges, and other triggers, this book will help you break free from BFRB and feel more in control of your life.
12. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, Peter A. Levine
Waking the Tiger offers a new and hopeful vision of trauma. It views the human animal as a unique being, endowed with an instinctual capacity. It asks and answers an intriguing question: why are animals in the wild, though threatened routinely, rarely traumatized? By understanding the dynamics that make wild animals virtually immune to traumatic symptoms, the mystery of human trauma is revealed.
Waking the Tiger normalizes the symptoms of trauma and the steps needed to heal them. People are often traumatized by seemingly ordinary experiences. The reader is taken on a guided tour of the subtle, yet powerful impulses that govern our responses to overwhelming life events. To do this, it employs a series of exercises that help us focus on bodily sensations. Through heightened awareness of these sensations trauma can be healed.
13. Mind Over Medicine, Lisa Rankin
When Mind Over Medicine was first published, it broke new ground in the fertile region where science and spirituality intersect. Through the process of restoring her own health, Dr. Lissa Rankin discovered that the conventional health care she had been taught to practice was missing something crucial: a recognition of the body's innate ability to self-repair and an appreciation for how we can control these self-healing mechanisms with the power of our own consciousness.
To better understand this phenomenon, she explored peer-reviewed medical literature and found evidence that the medical establishment had been proving that the body can heal itself for over 50 years. She shared her findings and laid out a practical plan for readers to heal themselves in this profoundly wise book--a New York Times bestseller and now a classic guide for people who are on a healing journey from illness, injury, or trauma.
In the years since then, Dr. Rankin has deepened her exploration of the world's healing tradition and her understanding of the healing power we hold within ourselves--if only we can tap into it. This revised edition of Mind Over Medicine reflects her latest research, evolving wisdom, and work with clients and students in her healing community, as well as with doctors and other healers in her Whole Health Medicine Institute.
14. The Old Soul's Guidebook, Ainslie Macleod
Last but not least… Before you tag this one as a controversial one, my 1:1 session with Ainslie was one of the most crucial steps to understanding - and overcoming - my skin picking. Everything you are—your personality, beliefs, aspirations, talents and fears—is the result of your soul’s many incarnations.
To help you tap into this wealth of past-life experience and dramatically increase your potential for success in this lifetime, past-life psychic and author Ainslie MacLeod offers THE OLD SOUL'S GUIDEBOOK: Who You Are, Why You're Here, and How to Navigate Life on Earth.
Building on his award-winning books THE INSTRUCTION and THE TRANSFORMATION, Ainslie delivers unique insights and exercises to help you:
● Understand why your destiny is so much more obvious than you think
● Identify past-life sources of present-life issues like low self-esteem, unexplained ailments, and irrational fears
● Escape the victimization trap through self-empowerment
“Past lives explain everything,” shares Ainslie. “Without knowing where you’ve been, you can never truly know where you’re going. Understanding your soul’s journey is the key to living a happier and more fulfilling life.”
Get The Dragonfly Journal to take notes as you make your way through the reading list!
If you’re currently struggling with dermatillomania, trichotillomania or other Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, check out our Heal BFRBs blog for helpful resources. Get The Dragonfly Journal and start using journaling today as a tool on your BFRB healing journey. Learn more about 1:1 Premium Trauma Informed Coaching.
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